I'd Rather Dine With Trig

Sarah Palin is auctioning off a chance for you and four friends to have dinner with her and three of her friends (Greta Van Susteren, a dead wolf, and probably Todd) at an Olive Garden or whatever, for charity. Imagine what she'd be like, asking for "more breadsticks" and talking about Death Panels. Good stuff. If you have an extra $37,701 on hand, go for it.

But wait! There are "rules" involved which will probably preclude you from going anywhere near this unemployed lady.

This pretty much cancels out 99% of you, unless you've got a fake ID and are a good actor:

A background check for all attendees is mandatory. Failure to pass the background check will result in the winner forfeiting the experience and a refund given. [...] The dinner will be paid for by the seller.

Respect for Ms. Palin and her guest(s) is expected at all times. Inappropriate behavior will result in the conclusion of the experience with no refund.

Ha ha. Don't call her a "bitch" during appetizers. Play it cool. Wait till you've got the check, then have your fun.

Dinner shall last no more than four hours, but could be less, in the sole discretion of Sarah Palin. Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors.

Subjective standards? Other factors? Suitable bidder? Sounds like she's not going to show up for this four hour (jesus christ) meal, just like she never shows up for anything else, always.