Live Blogging The DNC: Night 3

***Keep refreshing this page! I'm going to go get a triple shot soy iced latte (because I am an elite), which means I'll be updating this post wildly and frequently***

Oh yes, it's night 3 in Denver. What's the theme? "Securing America's Future."

It'll be a night focusing on national security, which everyone knows the Democrats are experts at. If there is one issue that will win them the election, it's this!

Tonight we have Bill Clinton, John Kerry (!), and Joe Biden, amongst others.

I'll be getting started around 6 p.m. PST, or, everyone's favorite hippie time zone, "Mountain Time," 7 p.m. Stay tuned.

6:01- It's Billy Time!

First...what's he wearing? No, no. We don't care about what the boys wear.

Oh cute the Fleetwood Mac song that they played the last time a Democrat won anything.

There's Chelsea and Hillz. Lots of flags in the crowd, but Bill is not wearing a flag pin. Traitor. Oh they love him though. He was the first black president and if he has his way he will be the last black president. Poor Bill though. He couldn't even get a speech in prime time? I take it back...the networks are covering him. I just switched over to CBS. Now I'm back on C-SPAN.

6:06- Bill says he is here first to support Obama, second to "warm up" the crowd for Biden. "I love Joe Biden." Oh Bill talk dirty to us.

"My candidate didn't win...but I'm proud of her."

"That makes two of us!" he says, in reference to Hillary saying she will support Barack. Actually, that makes "18 million of us," because he wants all of Hillz' supporters to join them.

But will he say that Obama is "ready to lead?" That's the one thing all the pundits kept repeating today. Hillary never said explicitly that Obama was "ready to lead."

"Obama is the man for this job!" he says. There, is that explicit enough? "He's shown a firm grasp" on foreign policy. "He has a unique capacity to lead" our nation. There! He's saying it. "The long primary tested and strengthened him."

His running mate selection? "He hit it out of the park."

"Barack Obama is ready to lead America."

"Obama is ready to be president of the United States."

Case closed.

6:15- This is clearly unequivable support. But don't worry, he probably doesn't mean it! Yes that will be the talking point tomorrow. Bill Clinton was lying.

He's a liar and planning on having Obama lose in November anyways, so this is all just a sham. There, you don't need to listen to Rush Limbaugh tomorrow because I just summarized his entire broadcast in one sentence.

6:20- Now he's doing what he does best, attacking the Republicans.

He's talking about McCain, saying that he loves his country. He is a "good man." But he embraces an "extreme philosophy" of the past. He says that when Republicans have control of both the White House and the congress, as they finally gained in 2001, it's bad bad bad news.

In regards to another potential 4 years of Republicans?

"Thanks, but no thanks," he says.

"The third time is not the charm."

He makes a good point about the "not ready to lead" meme. They said it about him in 1992, and look how well he did! God this man's ego knows no bounds.

He closes with his famous line about "a place called Hope," which he used in his campaign and lookie there it is a transcendent line. Hope is not just a town in Arkansas!

Hillary is having fun with her flag, waving it around like a little girl. Cute.

The Dems in the Pepsi Center are on a natural high. Crowd shots...Chevy Chase is there. What the...?

They're playing Addicted To Love...?

6:31- A woman in the military is up now, Beth Robinson. Man can she open up her blouse anymore? She kind of looks like Michelle Dessler from 24, but not really. She's talking about military families and...oh, Democrats. If you want to show how tough you are why don't you just divide the crowd in the Pepsi Center into two teams and have them participate in a giant war. Give everyone guns and grenades and see what happens?

6:35- Uh oh! It's your favorite talking tree from The Wizard of Oz, John Kerry.

I'm John Kerry, reporting for duty!

No, he doesn't open with this but he's talking about "our mission to restore our influence in the world." Obama and Biden will "shut down Guantanamo." He also says that we don't torture. Ha ha.

6:37- Kerry is playing a fun game and we should play along. Let's compare "candidate McCain with senator McCain."

He's calling him a flip-flopper.

"Before McCain debates with Obama he should finish the debate with himself!"

He accuses McCain of using "Rove" politics.

I have to admit Kerry isn't that bad. I thought I'd be sleepy time right now but he's got some spunk. Then again maybe it's the triple-shot soy latte I'm drinking.

Now he's talking about who to trust to keep America safe and giving out lots of examples, and how McCain and Obama respond differently..."Who can we trust to keep America safe?"

Each time, the crowd chants: "Barack Obama."

"No one can question Obama's patriotism."

Oh no, he's talking about Obama's grandparents. Enough with the GD grandparents.

6:45- Now, what the hell? He introduces Obama's uncle! He was a war hero or something, and he's white! Charlie is his name. He's in the crowd holding hands with Michelle.

6:47- He's done. A good job, by Kerry standards. The intent was obviously to get people to stop questioning Barry's patriotism and for people to realize that he would take national security seriously. But, is Kerry, the guy who was ripped apart in 2004 for the EXACT SAME THING, the one to be speaking about this and defending Obama?

What were the Democrats thinking?

Hey, let's get someone to talk about Obama's love of country and dedication to protecting America. Good idea, let's get the guy that couldn't convince voters 4 years ago of his own love of country and dedication to protecting America. Yeah, that should work!

6:55- Now we have a "rear admiral" up, he used to be a Republican but now he supports Obama. WE GET IT. The military supports Obama. Republicans supports Obama. Dead people support Obama. The Ku Klux Klan supports Obama. Everyone supports Obama.

6:57- It's Edwards! Chet Edwards, that is. He was on the short list to be Obama's VP but an "Obama/Edwards" bumper sticker probably wouldn't have been a good idea.

7:09- A video about the military just ended. Now it's Tammy Duckworth, an Iraq war veteran. I remember her. She ran for congress but lost, right?

"Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11," she says. What? I was told that Iraq perpetrated 9/11! Iraq had WMD, too. Trust me.

7:18- Who is this now? Quincy Lucas, a teacher from Delaware. We've moved on from the military to domestic violence. Her sister was murdered. Uh, thanks for sharing.

Oh yay! She has just placed Biden's name in nomination for vice president and finishes her brief speech with a big "Yay!!!"

Now Nancy Pelosi is up and confirms the nomination. She tells us that Biden has accepted the nomination! Good can we go home now?

7:21- It's a tribute film to Biden now. As a child, Biden had a stutter. Bu-bu-bu-Biden. There's his drop dead gorgeous wife, Jill, reminding us that Joe takes the Amtrak home every night. DID YOU GET THAT? JOE IS A COMMUTER.

7:25- On the stage is Beau Biden to introduce his dad. He tells us that his dad turns down fancy D.C. cocktail parties so that he can come home and hang out with his grandchildren. Beau reminds us again about that tragic accident which took his mother and little sister. Biden was sworn in to the senate at his son's hospital bedside, after the accident.

Crowd shots as Beau speaks, everyone is crying. Huh? There's Jill wiping a tear. Oh the drama. Beau asks us to "be there for his dad" while he is away serving in Iraq. "Be there for both of them," (Biden and Obama) because "they will deliver the change" that America needs.

And, here's Joe.

7:33- He's proud of his kids. And his wife Jill! "The only one that leaves me breathless and speechless at the same time!"

Oh, that Jill.

He calls Hillary a great leader and says she will continue to make history.

(Hey, it's been the Clinton convention every night, so why not stand up for her and Bill one more time? The crowd does.)

7:36- Joe introduces his mom. Ok she's adorable. She must be 90 years old and she is beaming. He's speaking about the values his parents instilled in him, and giving us lots of quotes from his upbringing and how his parents raised him.

He tells us that he takes the train home every night to Wilmington, DE. !!!! This is worse than McCain's POW chant.

While he's on that train, he imagines the conversations taking place in the houses he passes on that fucking train. He hears common stories around the kitchen tables, how to pay the bills, etc. McCain doesn't hear these stories, and doesn't get it.

"If George--oops--John McCain is elected..." he says it's a Freudian slip. Kerry made the same slip earlier. Well played...or did they both do it on purpose?

7:45- Time to go after McCain.

He'll give oil companies tax breaks. He voted against renewable energy. John voted against the minimum wage increase 19 times. He wants to keep funding the Iraq war.

"That's not change, that's more of the same."

7:49- He's coming off strong. Forceful. Making the case for Obama's judgment on Afghanistan vs. McCain's. Obama has wanted more troops there, but McCain said (three years ago) that it was a success.

He's reiterating Obama's points about Iraq (handing power over to Iraqis and withdrawing troops, a timetable), saying Obama has always been right, McCain has always been wrong. He doesn't mention the surge, which the majority of people think has been a success. Obama didn't support the surge, McCain did. He doesn't mention that he (Biden) supported the war in the beginning and then changed his mind. This will of course come back to haunt him.

Jill is on stage now.

A special surprise guest!?

It's Barry!!!

AAAAAAHHHHH!

Oh they're all in heaven.

7:55- So Obama gets two speeches and Hillary only got one? "Hillary rocked the house last night!" he says.

He thanks Bill Clinton and Bill mouths something but we don't know what it is (I hate you?).

7:59- There's everyone on stage together, Pelosi, Kerry, Biden, Jill, a bunch of kids, Howard Dean, Chris Dodd, and our Barry. Where's Michelle? Michelle has stayed perched up in the crowd in her seat because she is better than all of them, obvs.

We Are Family is playing. WTF Michelle should be on stage, but no, she has better things to do like planning how to destroy America.

8:04- Well, another night is over. The winner of the night is clearly Bill Clinton. He reminded us of what a Democrat can accomplish in office (i.e. Him), and did a good job cementing the fact that yes, Obama is ready to lead.

As far as Biden, he had a lot of good lines, but I wish they would've been delivered even stronger.

"John McCain was wrong, Barack Obama was right," kept being repeated, but it wasn't shouted loud enough for my taste.

The Republicans are going to be screaming at the top of their lungs next week and frankly, they're much better at it. Unfortunately, Americans like to hear people screaming, and they react better to people who appear really pissed off.

Just one more night left, and it's the grand finale. It'll be Obama in front of 80,000 people, and I'll be live blogging it. My plan is to do a shot every time someone in the stadium passes out from being in the presence of The One. This means that I might be passed out before his speech is over, but I promise to do my best.

See ya tomorrow night.