Floridians Are Amazing

You may have heard about this Jacksonville guy who called 911 last week because Subway forgot the GD sauce on his Italian sub (totally justified):

The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.

Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report. The second call was to complain that police officers weren't arriving fast enough.

Yes. This is what you do when those fast food places (please, don't tell me Subway and their mystery meat isn't fast food) forget your order and eff up. And yes, condiments, dipping sauces, salad dressings, and anything else that comes on the side are all part of your order. Hey, you're paying for it in the jacked up costs of all that so-called "food."

If Del Taco doesn't give me extra ketchup and extra Del Inferno Sauce, you better believe I'm calling 911 if they don't give me more when I screech into reverse and head back for the drive-thru line. (Yes, I've re-waited in a drive-thru line just to get extra ketchup and hot sauce. SO!)

Moving right along...

Now, another Florida man has called 911 for an equally valid reason. A slot machine stole his money!

An arrest report says 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa early Monday and called 911 to say the slot machine stole his money. The report says Gutierrez left the casino to place a second 911 call to say the same thing.

Damn this genius, why haven't I ever thought of this?

After all the nights I've spent in Las Vegas having my money stolen by slot machines, you'd think I would've thought of this. Oh, and I can't forget the roulette tables and blackjack dealers either. Thieves--the whole lot of them! I'll just have 911 on speed dial the next time I cross state line and stop at Whiskey Pete's. You can never be too prepared.