"Deport Yourself"

It's a new program from the totally efficient and completely under control U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement:

Scheduled to be unveiled next week, it was announced Sunday by Julie Myers, director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, in an interview with a Spanish-language television network.

Myers told the network that "Operation Scheduled Departure" will allow illegal immigrants without criminal records a chance to literally "self-deport" by turning themselves in to her agents.

She said the idea derived from a common complaint voiced by immigrant detainees: If given the opportunity, they'd rather just go home than be holed up in immigration prisons.

Yes, because detainees are always trying to help you with new ideas about how to make the system work better.

And yes, I realize you must pick your battles, but shouldn't every ounce of energy be devoted to coming up with a solution at the border, you know, where people are literally dying to get across, rather than coming up with these whimsical, unenforceable "laws?"

Hey, here's an idea. If someone wants to go home, trust me, they're just going to go home.

ADDED: I forgot to mention that immigrants who do choose to "deport themselves" and go home are subsequently banned from re-entering the United States, even legally, for 20 years.